Forever Changed

I've been writing on here recently about changing to a sporty girl and a healthier girl and that got me to thinking about the most significant transformation that has taken place in my life over the last few years. Outside transformations are good, but the important ones take place on the inside.

Seven years ago, I was working 50 hours a week, having a romantic dinner alone with my husband every evening, and traveling every chance I got. My, how things have changed!

My transformation began in November of 2000. Nathaniel, a butterball of a baby, came bounding into the world three weeks early. Since then, I’ve added two more little blessings (three babies in six years). Becoming a mother didn’t just transform me on the outside— eighty-six pounds gained and lost, stretch marks, and not one, but two increases in shoe size— but it transformed my innermost being. I brought three new souls into the world, an amazing, life-changing accomplishment.

Now, I think differently. I feel differently. I look at the world through different eyes. I experience life hand-in-sticky-little-hand with my children, seeing everything as if for the first time. The fifty-hour work weeks are gone. As a stay-at-home mom, my hours are twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. The romantic dinners are few and far between, and the vacations are no longer about me. But these are not missed. My days are dedicated to taking walks, stopping and (literally) smelling the flowers, and generally experiencing life at the relaxed pace of a child savoring every new experience.

My children have made me a better person. Before becoming a mother, I was selfish and impatient, easy to anger, long to hold a grudge. My children have taught me patience, kindness, forgiveness, and most of all, how to love. Like the Grinch whose heart "grew three sizes that day," my heart has expanded to the point that one more adorable gummy smile just might make it burst. My life is full, my heart is fuller, and I am forever changed.